One of the books I read while I was on vacation in Playa was Have a New Kid by Friday by Dr. Kevin Leman. I read the book from front to back in just a day or so. It was a great book that taught me many things.
First, it taught me that my kids are pretty great kids. The stories he told in the book were amazing to me- the way some parents let their children act. We do have pretty great kids, but of course, they are normal and so I am always looking for ways to improve their moments of "entitlement" as I call it.
I don't like it when I feel like my kids expect a reward, a new outfit or toy or for me to jump up when they ask for something- like I don't have a life other than them- Dr. Leman says it as when they drive you up the wall. It's the feeling that the world OWES them- it bugs me. So I was on the hunt for some tips to make it during these times.
I recommend the book. It takes the monkey off your back and requires you to step up and expect more from your children without screaming, threatening or having a long discussion with them about what and why you need them to do. All without the guilt that we all feel- paying close attention to the ABC's: Attitude, Behavior and Character issues. And there is so much more in the book- I am trying to get Jerrod to read the book too so that we are on the same page. He is working on it.
So today I thought I would put the suggestions to work. I told my children that I wasn't going to repeat anything anymore. (the book says that by repeating things you are actually telling your children that you think they are stupid- too stupid to do it right the first time) I told them that I knew they were smart enough to get it right so I would stop talking so much. Homework came, chores came and Emma just couldn't get it right. Note: she is my passive, super silly child that always finds a way out of doing what is expected all with a big smile and a happy heart. She is fun loving and this is why I have always had a hard time disciplining her- plus she is a crier. She feels so bad that she starts to cry and it is a sad cry- not the annoying, loud, obnoxious cry my other children do when they don't get their way. She breaks my heart. Of course, I shouldn't make an exception for her and expect any less!!
I am off following all the recommendations of the book. I get her where it hurts with her things: I took her puppy journal book where she writes all her songs with the first offense and then after another I sent her to her room for a good thinking. She didn't know what hit her, seriously. She cried in her room about this and that and then when it was all said and done she came back downstairs, gave an honest apology and then joined the family. Suddenly, I got this letter- I couldn't help but post it.
She didn't know I was going to be mean, huh?!! So I sat down with her and had a heart to heart- I told her mean mommies are good mommies. What do you think??!! Agree?
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